It seems like this chap above has taken it upon himself to make his presence known to me in the bathroom. I have no control over this, it just seems to happen. The latest of these episodes occurred last Sunday at Norma's in the city which, just by the way, might have the best orange juice I have ever tasted. The brunch in general is fantastic too, but that's a different matter altogether.
First, some background:
(Some of the details might seem arbitrary and/or unnecessary, but it will all fall into place at the end)
1. Wardrobe: Shirt with shorts and belt. Shorts had button fly. Belt was a military-style fabric belt.
2. Ipod scenario: I have a 160gb Ipod (sadly they don't make them that big any more). My case of choice is the one made by Contour Design. Have had the case ever since I bought the Ipod. Bought the Ipod a couple of years ago. Case is well scratched up. Case-replacement has been needed for a few months now. Case-replacement has been put off due to laziness.
3. Bladder scenario: I pee a lot
4. Location: Norma's and Norma's bathroom
5. Beverage intake: Water and OJ. Bottomless.
So anyway, here's what happened. Multiple glasses of water and juice were consumed. Excretory system functioned at top speed. Bladder filled up rather quickly. Brain received message. Limbs responded. Bathroom was reached.
This is where the problems began.
I had my Ipod hitched to my belt, and had button-fly shorts, which meant I had to undo the belt. My need to pee greatly dampened my presence of mind. The Ipod was left untouched. The laws of gravity cranked into gear. The Ipod fell to the ground. I stared in horror. I continued peeing. I finished peeing. I then freaked out a little, and didn’t know what to do.
How did He talk to me?
Men can’t really aim so the ground beneath a urinal always has a nice little cocktail of urine from a variety of sources. Having the Ipod fall down to the ground was his way of telling me to get a new cover NOW.
How did he teach me?
He basically taught me not to procrastinate excessively. He showed me that a stitch in time could indeed have saved nine, or could have kept the pee away from the Ipod. You know what I mean.
How was he kind to me?
Firstly, He made sure the Ipod did not fall down face first into the pee (the scroll-wheel on the front is the only part that is exposed). Secondly, He gave me the wisdom to choose this particular cover which is easy to remove. I gathered a whole bunch of tissues, picked up the Ipod, took it out of its cover, dropped the cover into the trash can and saved the Ipod, never letting the pee-pee touch my fingers or the Ipod.
I have since bought a new case that is identical to that lost one.
