Smorgasbord

As I sit here at my computer, listening to "Polka on the Banjo," happy with my lunch of chicken masaman curry with rice, I can't help but think about a few things that have crossed my mind over the last couple of weeks. Random things that caught my attention and soon became the subjects of my daydreams. So that's really the theme for this post. Random thoughts, no real thread tying them together other than, well, their randomness and the fact that I thought about them. You haven't. Yet.

1. Burping is one of those things you never knew you needed to do.
I mean, somtimes you get gassy and need to let out some gas through one hole or the other, but that's not what im talking about. Often enough you just burp without warning or expectation (out loud or discretely) and suddenly the world becomes a happier place. You feel better. You smile to yourself. You high-five the stranger next to you.

2. Talk show hosts say a bunch of nonsense to their guests during ad breaks.
The next time you watch Conan or Letterman or whoever, notice what they do right after the announce the first ad break after their first guest comes on. They always seem to lean towards their guest and smile and say something like "Thank you" or whatever before talking about some other nonsense. I think it's all a load of bull. They've met them backstage. They've thanked them for coming on their shows. I think they're just playing a little game that we've all played when we were younger (and still play now) where there are three people and you whisper some sort of nonsense into one person's ear and pretend like it's the most imporant thing in the world to make the third feel left out and laugh about it without letting the other person know. That is the game that Conan and Letterman play. I have uncovered their secret. They make me feel left out.

3. I am easily fooled by lab coats.
Store people at Kiehl's wear lab coats. And coax me into buying expensive nonsense that I then don't necessarily use. All because they seem like they know what they're doing, even if they're just reading what's written behind the product. I have failed in my attempt at being an intelligent consumer.

4. Why are cartoons becoming more and more realistic?
Do they want to be called sit-coms?

5. My shuttle driver is a wise man
The other day he tried to convince me that the two smartest people in the history of mankind were the two chaps that invented GPS and the rice cooker. I like my shuttle driver.

6. Using hand sanitizer after you pee is pointless
Hand sanitizer kills germs. Urine is virtually sterile. What are you achieving here? I mean, come on now...