Ulta Sulta

Things other people like, that I am not a huge fan of:

1. Winnie the Pooh
He's just grumpy and anti (as a chap sitting in Barbados might say). He's only happy-looking in the posters for the cartoon but that's just a sham. I've watched the videos...he's annoying and makes Eeyore look cool. Anyone that can makes a donkey look cool in comparison is like a silly garnish on a plate...a waste of space.

2. Holi
Now I don't know who these people are, but that's the first photo that popped up when I googled Holi. Why would you do that to yourself and then smile about it? I never have and never will understand the joy of willingly smearing yourself with coloured powder that stains your skin for a week or two. It makes you look uglier than you already are and probably tastes nasty. Oh and I'm sure the feeling of having it in your eyes is lovely.


3. Licorice
It looks like plastic and tastes worse. It's even spelt wrong; since when has "ice" been pronounced "ish"?


4. Apple Flavoured Hookah
Everyone loves apple flavoured hookah. Everyone loves double apple flavoured hookah even more. Because you can distinctly taste two apples - NOT. It tastes like fennel and it makes me go to the poo poo pot.

5. Green Chutney (the one you get at Indian restaurants...usually made with a combnation of coriander, mint and green chillies)
It's green and looks like pond water. This is the only reason why I don't like it and never eat it. Honest.

6. Barack Obama
I know I'm going to win a ton of friends with this one. I have nothing against him but am not a huge fan of his (read the first line of this blog entry). So before you are up in arms and calling me a republican or citing blasphemy, hear me out. Yes, he's an extremely smart chap. Yes, he's a great orator. Yes, his heart is in the right place. Yes, he's a million times better than his predecessor. However, he has no real plan. His economic plan has been bastardized to foster "bipartisan relations", his promise to focus on healthcare has been forgotten, he's had three key cabinet choices show tax defaults, I could go on. And yet, what amazes me is the tremendous faith everyone has in him. I hope for everyone's sakes that he pulls it together and does a good job.

7. Anything that stains my tongue
I usually can't see my own tongue unless I look into a mirror (keen observation, I know) but knowing that I'm eating something that's staining my tongue makes me want to spit it out. Sorry, Yves Klein, but I would not have tried your cocktail even though I'm a fan of your art and blue urine is a cool concept.*


*Yves Klein opened an exhibition of his on April 28, 1958 (his 30th birthday) at the Gallerie Iris Clert. Here, he served people a blue cocktail, a mixture of gin, Cointreau, and methylene blue that stained their mouths blue. To Klein's surprise and delight, the next day, all who drank the cocktail found their urine stained blue.