Home Sweet Home

Yesterday I drove through Round Hill Road in Greenwich, CT which is apparently one of the most expensive residential streets in the world. It was really pretty, with snow covering the roofs of houses and branches of trees under a blue, sunny sky. The houses were nice and are definitely worth a lot of money (The Helmsley House is on sale for $125 million) and have enormous grounds and heated driveways and whatnot. However, the thing that struck me most about that entire drive was how I wasn't really envious of any of the houses/didn't ever want to own or live in one of those houes. Did I only see myself living in a bigger, grander house you ask? No. I'm not that shallow (or am I?). Here are some of the reasons why I would not want to live on Round Hill Road in Greenwich, CT (in no paticular order):

1. No cell-phone reception
There was little or no reception on the entire street. Call me a slave to technology or whatever but I get pretty frantic when I expect to have cell phone reception but don't. I understand the merits of a getaway with no phones or communication but living in a place with no cell phone reception would have me on edge for the most part and that is not what I want at home.

2. Bad weather
Snow is like clothing from H&M...it looks good but feels terrible. Yeah I know that the location of your home is often a function of the location of your place of work but I'm sorry if you have the money to buy a $100 million house, you clearly have the money to move to a warmer place.

3. Lack of a pleasing view
All these houses were next to each other and had big walls around them so from the inside, I imagine, all you can probably see is your snow covered lawn in the winter or the foliage in summer. Now both these can be pretty and pleasing to the eye but I'd get bored of it pretty quick. If you can't have the hustle and bustle of a city, at least look for a view that you wouldn't get bored of.

4. Isolation from commercial activity
We were driving along the road and were hungry...the handy gps told us the nearest restaurant was about 5 miles away...and since it's all residential you have to drive super slow so it took us about 20 minutes to get to a restaurant. Two words - nein, danke.

5. Super long driveways
As the friend I was with brilliantly pointed out...what if you really need to pee on your way home? The long driveway would put you that much further from your pee pee pot. As the guy who peed in a store once pointed out, you always feel like you're gonna explode just as you get closer to home and need to pee. Maybe the mind gets excited when it sees familiar surroundings and goes into overdrive. I don't know the specifics. But it's true. And if i had to wait that much longer to pee, I would have to start wearing diapers or keeping an empty bottle in my car. TMI? Absolutely.