Things that make me go aaahhhh

(That's a scared aaahhhh, and not an ohmygodthistotallyhitsthespot aaahhhh)

I just had some good sushi and as always, I wasn't too brave with the wasabi. Wasabi and I don't get along and it got me thinking about a list of a few things that I'm terrified of:

1. Falling into and subsequently getting stuck in a toilet because I forgot to put down the seat
Painful, embarrassing and potentially fatal. What if nobody were around? How would I get out? Last time I checked, most bathrooms didn't have porcelain-breaking-hammers handy so you could crack your way out of such an emergency.

2. Dropping a tray of food at a cafeteria
This was easily my number one fear at the dining hall at Emory. It's a three tiered dining hall and I NEVER sat on any of the lower levels because that meant climbing down 5 or 10 steps (depending on which tier you sat at) with a tray full of food. Downfalls (notice the pun hehe I'm so clever) include ridicule, being the subject of laughter, broken bones, being scalded by hot food and burning eyes from a hot sauce attack.

3. Being stabbed in the eye or cheek by pointy clothes racks
Every time I'm at a store, this is my only fear. Some people fear not finding their size, some people fear other violent shoppers, I fear this. I've come close many times, where I turn and find myself dangerously close to one of those stand-alone metal racks that sulk because I've stolen their thunder by avoiding them. I have been triumphant and dare I say undefeated in my battles with clothes racks. The outcome of the war, however, remains to be seen.

4. Getting paint or ink on my skin that wont come off with spit (as a last resort option, after I've tried to rub it off)
I don't and will never ever understand why people write their to-do lists or draw on their skin. That's just wrong. It's like simple word association. You say fry, I say pan. You say lamp, I say bulb. You say pen, I say paper. Not skin. What is wrong with you?

5. Crying indefinitely because I've eaten too much wasabi or chopped too many onions
I once chopped onions with swimming goggles on so that I wouldn't cry. Swimming goggles don't let water in but onion fumes on the other hand...Both wasabi and onion fumes make my cry like no other. These are my kryptonite. Some people said they could never cry as much as they did when Leonardo DiCaprio died in Titanic. Those people have never cut onions or popped a piece of wasabi into their mouths.