Call him what you want, but he's up there...

So I don't know how much I believe in religion but I definitely there's someone up there doing things, making things, breaking things, and what have you. I was reminded of his/her existence today at work. Call that person God or whatever else you'd like to, I'm pretty sure that this being exists in some form or the other. How was I reminded of this, you ask? Well clearly that being didn't endow you with the virtue of patience. But anyway, here's the story...

Few things in life are as satisfying as taking a dump at work. Oh I said it. Feign disgust if you may, but I know all of you reading this that have worked in an office feel the same way. Here's why dropping the pressure at work is so awesome:

1. You get paid for relieving yourself
2. You can break scoring records on games on your cellphone
3. You can catch up on reading
4. You can escape work for a few minutes
5. You can have some "you" time
6. You can observe the toilet habits of your co-workers
7. You can play a guessing game with yourself trying to figure out the identity of the defecator in the next stall

But I digress...this post was supposed to be about how I was reminded of the existence of the chap up there. So today I felt the urge to drop a deuce and made my way to the poo-poo-house. I was happy to find it empty and proceeded to wipe down the seat and double-line it with toilet paper before I sat down to do my business. I started playing a game on my phone and was content with life when suddenly, the phone slipped out of my hand, hit the floor, and slid about 4 feet to my right, before finally settling in the stall next to mine. This was the first reminder of the chap's existence - I was the only one in the bathroom at the time. But clearly that could change any second.

Sort-of-related sidenote: Can you imagine the conversation if the stall next to mine had been occupied?
Me - Err, hello there dear Co-worker That Is Taking A Dump
CTITAD - Um, hi. Thank you for interrupting me. I was this close to creating a new high score...
Me - Any time. Umm, could you please hand me my phone so that I may try to do the same? Thanks!

I naturally did what anyone in my place would do. I panicked, I hyperventilated, I quickly did my bit to ensure demand for Georgia-Pacific, all the while hoping that nobody else would enter my little kingdom. Luckily, nobody did (Reminder #2).

I smiled to myself, picked up my mobile communication device, put it in my pocket, and went to wash my hands. I couldn't stop smiling. He was up there and he was smiling down on me.